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Dublin Racing Festival. Home Ireland Dublin Racing Festival. Ts and Cs apply. Gamble responsibly. Honeysuckle extended her unbeaten career record into an 8th race at Leopardstown last year, battling back bravely to beat Petite Mouchoir and Darver Star. Despite his brilliant record at Leopardstown, Willie Mullins' star has run poorly on both his previous visits to the Dublin Racing Festival, finishing seventh in the Deloitte and sixth here last year.

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We have documentation on file for those of you who don't believe this. If you collaborate with your fellow Church-goers on this, the event can turn into a huge, festive Bonfire and prayer meeting! Use corporal punishment. Spare the rod and spoil the child! Although outlawed by Socialists in many places, a good, sound thrashing has always been the best cure for the unruly child. Buy and use commercially available Anti-Masturbation devices. You can get one for your Boys by clicking here. President Bush has made it one of the goals of his Faith-Based Initiative to fund private Christian companies to develop an effective anti-Masturbation device for Girls.

Understand your child's language. There are dozens of slang terms for Masturbation in use by today's teenagers. You should be familiar with them. Click here for a list. There are many other lists available on the Web. Don't use these slang terms around your children! If you must refer to Masturbation, use the term "Self-Abuse. Scientifically test your children for signs of Masturbation. The same Liberal naysayers who insist we can't build a Missile Shield scoffed until they were bleeding when I revealed that Scientists were hard at work on an aerosol spray that would reveal signs of Masturbation in your children, but it's here!

CheckMate scientifically detects a protein Enzyme produced by the male Prostate Gland to reveal traces of semen on clothing, sheets, ceilings, keyboards, etc. It apparently won't detect Masturbation in girls my Scientific consultants assure me that females have no prostate glands, although the Bible suggests otherwise , but will uncover sexual activity in your daughters by detecting traces of semen in Panties, hair, etc. The slightest decline in a boy's Urinary Spermatozoa Count should be met with instant and total humiliation and hospitalization if possible.

Make your daughters grow their fingernails as long as possible. Many Christian parents will measure their daughters' fingernails every week and pay them an allowance based on the combined length. The reason for this is that long fingernails interfere not only with female masturbation, but with Lesbian sexual activity. They will also facilitate the "sniff test" for those of you who use it to monitor your daughter's sexual activities.

Put boxing gloves on your children's hands at bedtime. Boxing gloves are pretty hard to take off without someone's help. If you do this you can sleep soundly, knowing that your children aren't touching themselves in an impure way. Why is everyone criticising EA? I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

Nicely done, m'lady. You've just become every man's dream woman. If you had missed a couple before, now you can be sure you've got us ALL "drooling", lol. The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza. Foolish mistake. Anyone should know that there is no "when". As parmesan fills the restaurant, the pizza only gets better. After only an hour, the restaurants interior its completely filled with parmesan, killing twenty. But the resuraunt is only the beginning.

Next the USA will be taken by parmesan, a force stronger than anyone could have anticipated. After that comes the world. Consider this a warning, to get to a foreign planet immediately. At least that will provide temporary safety, until the parmesan rises to mars. At that point, there will be enough cheese on my pizza, and I will be ready to eat.

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This man once told me that the world will change for me. According to the rules, and fell to the ground. Your brain is intelligent, but its heart is dark. Come on, now, you're a star, a game,. Hey, now a rock star Hey, listen, question. According to him, a good place is cold. But nine preliminary planetary minutes. Look at the hole in the satellite images. For heating the water, so you can swim. BUT when a guy orders a Volt FuckMaster Pro blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, hes called a pervert?

You wanna know what the dumbest creature on this fucking planet is? Let me tell you how fucking dumb these idiots are. They are nocturnal meaning they only come out at night but when they do they are attracted to light. Let that sink in. They come out in the dark You fucking morons, haven't you heard of this thing called the sun? God I hate those stupid motherfuckers. There's no such thing as "racism" and that's a FACT. My little boy Justin has a nigger friend in preschool and he is a pure white kid with good Christian blood.

Justin plays with that negro every day even though I have read some news stories to him that tells about negro rapists. Justin is a smart nigger loving kid and as a good American father, I'm not going to take his nigger friend away from him. Hope Y'all learn a lesson here and let those niggers be free even though they might rape you but that's just a part of their culture. My best friend and I got married so we could have better health insurance and work benefits.

We sometimes give each other brojobs because men need release, you know? Eventually adopted a kid to be our bro. We raise him like our own and we're all really cool with each other. But the other night we were going at each other and our balls touched and he didn't say "no homo".

Did I marry a gay guy? Hold on, lady. Also has an intellectual side? With your ravishing, simply bewitching beauty, you pull me in And then you penetrate my level of understanding of perfection.. By informing me that you, are indeed, a girl gamer, who plays Minecraft!!!

O My beautiful lady. I will treat you right forever, I will cherish and treasure you, I will mine you diamonds and protect you from Endermen. My lady.. It's everyday bro with the gas chamber flow, killed 6 million Jews in 12 years, never done before, Passed all the competition man, my boy Stalin is next! I'm gassing all these czechs! Got the brand new Auschwitz! And they met Himmler too, they killin with an MG42!

This is the Third Reich bitch who the hell is flippin you? I did the math and research. According to Wikipedia, the average length of a penis varies from 5. I went for a safe 5. The average radius from the core center of the penis to the skin on the outside is. From this we can roughly find the volume with pi timed radius squared times height. This comes around as the average penis being around 9. Next I found the volume of the average human adult male.

I had to first find the weight, which according to Alex Schlessingerman's "The Physics Factbook" is 70kg or pounds. Weight is found by multiplying an object mass by the force of gravity, 9. After taking gravity out of the equation, the average mass of an adult human male is 7. I then found the volume by dividing this number by the average density of a human, according to Wikipedia, kg per meter cubed. The volume of the adult male was then found to be. Utilizing the volume of the average penis I found earlier, 9.

This means the penis is 2. Assuming a lack of testosterone or female hormones makes the person a female, balls ignored for ease, fucking a trap is only 2. But to tip the scales, you want to also have as MANY women as possible. With the average penis having a surface area of cm2 and the average fingertip having 4cm2 surface area we can easily get 43 fingers touching one dick, perhaps 44 if we're lucky.

So that's. This being said, 1 trap being touched specifically on the penis by 44 women who are not touching eachother would only be 0. Minimum gayness has been achieved. A counter argument would be that female masturbation, which contains only 1 woman, would be the least gay. I think those who support this idea forget that masturbation is homosexual incest.

So with that being excluded, this is the least gay porn can be. Only a plebeian worm such as yourself would engage in viewing broadcasts of such a sad and idiotic show. Unlike you low IQ apes, I please my optical sensors with only the finest of entertainment. I'll bet that you're inquiring as to what source of entertainment I am referring to.

Although I don't expect you to comprehend it, the television show in question is "Young Sheldon". You see, the humor is vastly superior to that of "Rick and Morty". First of all "Rick and Morty" relies heavily on improvisional comedy, while the intellectual humor of "Young Sheldon" is scripted and well thought out before being presented to an audience.

Second of all "Rick and Morty" is extremely unfaithful to its source material Back to the Future, for you simpletons while "Young Sheldon" is just as good if not better than watching "The Big Bang Theory". I could go on and on about how "Rick and Morty" is vastly inferior to "Young Sheldon" but I highly doubt that you have the mental capability to process such logic.

So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pour a glass of brandy whilst I redigest the latest episode of "Young Sheldon" so I can make an entry about it to the "Young Sheldon" wikia. Hopefully, I can forget about ever having the displeasure of interacting with you.

How tedious. I know that a lot of people want to catch em' all, but my job is a much bigger challenge. It is my goal to masturbate to all Pokemon, plain and simple. I usually try to do it twice a day, regardless of the difficulties. At the end, I always win. I go on places like Deviantart, rule 34 and, occasionally e in order to achieve this massive goal, and when I finally do, I will become a Pokemon Master. Sometimes, it is easy.

I can come in five minutes looking at Gardevoir or Lopunny pornos. Sometimes I come across major challenges that I have to overcome, in the case of Garbodor and Magikarp especially. I have to imagine the wet, sloppy fish mouth sucking on my cock without thinking about the actual fish itself. It is very hard, but the satisfaction you get when you achieve victory is immense.

Not only do you get the generally pleasurable feeling from ejaculation, but you also know that you overcame an obstacle few men have dared to try. I have a total of successful ejaculations total, but it only gets harder as I move on. When I see a Serperior, for instance, I have to think to myself "In what way can I imagine this creature in order to get off to it? I try to focus in on its somewhat beautiful face, and think about that more than the yards of snake behind it. I sometimes have issues with Pokemon like Machamp, who appear extremely male.

But I always find a way. There has been no hurdle too steep for me. I want to be the very best. Anything lower does not cut it. And that is why I am beating off to pictures of Lucario on the Internet, mom. I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner.

Now available with scented lemon or vanilla. Here's the thing. You said a "pupper is a doggo. Is it in the same family? No one's arguing that. As someone who is a scientist who studies puppers, doggos, yappers, and even woofers, I am telling you, specifically, in doggology, no one calls puppers doggos. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either.

They're not the same thing. If you're saying "doggo family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Doggodaemous, which includes things from sub woofers to birdos to sharkos the glub glub kind not the bork bork kind. So your reasoning for calling a pupper a doggo is because random people "call the small yip yip ones doggos?

Also, calling someone a human or an ape? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A pupper is a pupper and a member of the doggo family. But that's not what you said. You said a pupper is a doggo, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the doggo family doggos, which means you'd call piggos, sluggos, and other species doggos, too.

Which you said you don't. It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know? Okay, I don't know if this is actually incest since it wasn't something actually sexual in the technical sense but here goes. When I was little my mom used to put a buttplug in me which she called a poop plug and I'd wear it all the time. I was really young so I thought this was just something everybody did but one time at school I dropped it when I flushed the toilet and it ended up getting flushed.

So when I went back to class I told my teacher that my poop plug got flushed down the toilet. She had no idea what I was talking about so she sent me to the school nurse. Well after trying to explain what a poop plug was for 15 minutes the school calls the police. The police ask me all these questions and at first I'm scared because I think I'm in trouble for losing my poop plug.

I miss the old Harambe. Straight from the zoo Harambe. Eating his food Harambe. No attitude Harambe. I hate the new Harambe. Shot by a dude Harambe. The Youtube views Harambe. Up in the news Harambe. I miss the sweet Harambe. Playing with kids Harambe. I gotta say at that time I'd like to meet Harambe. See I invented Harambe. It wasnt any Harambes. And now i look and look around and there's no more Harambes.

I used to love Harambe. I even had the silverback I thought I was Harambe. What if Harambe made a song about Harambe. Called "I miss the old Harambe", man that would be so Harambe. That's all it was Harambe. We still love Harambe. And I love you like Harambe loves toddlers. So there's a chick in my class I like; unfrotunately im quiet, calculated and intelligent and she likes big dumb jocks. So anyway one day me and her boyfriend are walking among a group of our felow students when a gang banger appears and threatens with a gun.

Her 'big and though' boyfriend instantly freezes and loses the ability to speak. I on the other hand squint my eyes and step forward pulling my katana for judo practise out in one fell swoop. The gun is only years old while the sword is the child of many millenia. Do you fancy the odds? My other classmates cheer while her jock boyfriend pretends the whole thing was funny. She looks at me and sees what she didnt see before. She thanks me with a kiss, but I don't smile because I was only doing my duty.

Safe to say she saw who a real man was that day. I may be quiet and collected, but raise a weapon against me and youll face your worst nightmare. My iq is 76 and I am currently failing my degree. Today I was in the bus and suddently I saw this guy watching Rick and Morty.

The bus stopped and he got off, but those mere 10 seconds of visuals have left a stunning mark on me. I felt a lot smarter and decided I got to have a medical professional check this out, so the next day I went to get my iq tested again at the same place that labelled me as "mentally challenged" only one month before.

They start showing me weird pictures and ask me to choose which is the next picture in the pattern. After I finish they start uploading my choices on their computer system and they tell me to wait in the lobby. In the ten minutes that I wait I invent string theory and emailed my work to my professor. Then, my results came back and apparently I got all of the questions right. The people running the place say that this never happened before and that their software has crashed when it tried to compute my iq.

I have a big grin on my face at this point, when suddenly I get a notification on my phone. It was an email from my professor informing me that the scientific community is impressed with my work on string theory and that I have been nominated for a nobel prize.

It turns out the university also decided to award my degree early. I highly suggest you watch Rick and Morty. If 10 seconds of graphics without audio had this effect on me, who knows what might happen if you watch all of the episodes? Perhaps you might even stop being a drain on society. Whenever I feel like cutting, I watch Caillou because doing so is essentially self harm. God I hate it so much, with Caillou always whining and throwing temper tantrums and his parents never giving any fucks because their bald paradise probably has cancer.

I've been clean from cutting for nearly 1 month thanks to this show. The scars that Caillou leaves are only visible in my dreams. I literally remember that. Kagney Linn Karter, Bang Bros. The guy instructs her to say "I love you" and she does, a little confused. There was something strangely raw, honest and vulnerable about it: that while this guy has a "dream job" of fucking hot girls all day long, he's still desperately lonely and craves real emotional intimacy. Really made me think while I blew my load all over my fat disgusting belly.

Don't even try to insult my content, My content is decent, I have some people with over thousands of subs subscribe to me, And many likes and views on my videos,Don't insult my content at all, If you think it's bad, then I dare you to make something better than it and get subs. When a black person calls some white person a cracker. But when a white person calls a black person a cotton-picking, bike-stealing degenerate jungle negro who should die as a slave with the rest of his melon-loving ancestors at KFC he's called a racist?

Hentai is an even worse form of porn because it is even more unreal, even further removed from reality, even more capable of displaying utterly fucked up and extreme stuff that cannot exist in reality. You know the stuff Im talking about and I dont care if you say you only watch the 'good' kind of hentai. It is poison in the worst form.

It is attractive, that is the problem. Down that road lies lonliness and dissatisfaction. You need to let that poison go and find incomparable joys in real life. Luckily they are common. Go feel the sun on your face. Run and feel your body move. You can do it. Today Priscilla and I stopped by some local newspapers as we drove through Alabama. One editor I met with was an elderly man in a tattered suit. I said to him, "You look like you need some money, old timer.

I'll pay you 10 thousand dollars to eat one of those newspapers. Eat it or I swear to god I'll buy your newspaper and turn it into an anime fanzine. If you don't start munching on that sport section right now, you'll be writing articles about Naruto till you're cold in the grave. I'm a billionaire, you think anyone will stop me? It took him 42 minutes to eat that paper. For 42 minutes I had total power over that man. I'd never felt more alive. I bet that's what being president feels like.

The song "gucci gang" gave great meaning into my life. Lil pumps lyrics are nothing less of a genuine life lesson. People dont understand lil pumps story behind the lyrics. So i will do a lyric break down. Lil pump is telling his target audience that his gang is indeed called gucci gang. He says this in order to set the tone for the rest of the song and will show what his gang is all about. Lil pump is being humble and showing that even if he is rich, he will still pay money for a cheap chain.

On the line: "my bih luh do cocaine, ooh ooh " Lil pump is alluding to the fact that his "bih" is on so much cocaine that she can barely speak which is why he says "bih" and "luh" instead of "bitch" and "love". Lil pump is trying to say that he is not loyal at all and is trying to lower the chance of him getting a real girlfriend ever. All lil pump wants to do is fuck alot of women and try and avoid any std's. Lil pump is saying that he is willing to waste a large amount of money for drugs.

Showing his more emotional side as he needs these drugs to get over that he failed school. The ad-lib helps the listener under stand that it actually does cost more than your rent. Lil pump again is returning to his emotional side saying that his grandma is in fact a vegetable and she needs meds to survive. This makes lil pump very depressed so he aswell needs to take xanax for his depression.

Lil pump was kicked off a plane just because he was screaming eskitit and somehow being "obnoxious" on the plane. I still dont know why he was kicked off. The only person that matters in the world is lil pump, who cares if people cant sleep or relax on a 24 hour flight. Lil pump is alluding that he was kicked off the plane for using an illegal substance.

This is entirely westjets fault. They should have either gave everyone drugs or kicked them all off except lil pump. Thank you for reading and i hope you appreciate lil pumps artistry alot more now. I feel like I am Rick Sanchez while he was in middle school and I'm way smarter than my parents and teachers and I hate having to explain my superior intellect to all of the idiots around me. The community here is cancer. Everything is being swallowed by copypastas. The comments section of every post is slowly degrading into a shitfesty circlejerk.

Even this is going to end up as a copypasta, I guarantee it. I was wearing some regular underwear today because all my boxers were dirty, also some loose thin pants because it was pretty warm out. Anyway im in class when the teacher asks me to come up to the board to read a part of the book, im a bit nervous because i dont like pubic speaking but whatever and i start reading it.

I notice i have to read 2 fukin pages of this shiit, i start fuking up some words and i get a mini anxiety attack followed by an ever growing boner which looks bigger because underwear bunches up ur balls and cock. I think whatever bishes will just think my cock is huge so great success, the thing is i start looking at some of the hotter girls in class in their yoga pants with their legs crossed over, my boner gets bigger and its starting to become noticable.

I read some more and out of nowhere i say to the teacher "i cant do this anymore can i sit down? I run to the door and try to open the doorknob but for some reason it doesnt open, i hear comments like "hes gone fukin insane", i dont know wut comes over me but i accept my new role as crazy. I rip open my pants and yell "this is so fuking uncomfortable!

I do not think they would take kindly to you using the military to threaten and intimidate someone especially over the internet. Not only that, but technically if reddit or whomever wanted to they could call the police right now because what you just said constitutes a death threat. I don't know who you are and I don't care too. However you would be wise to watch your words. This is friendly advice from a stranger. Two wrongs don't make a right and threatening someones life is against the law.

I've taken the liberty of reporting you. Have a nice day. Let's get one thing about me "straight" up front. When it comes to sexuality, I'm a as hetero as they come. If a gay guy came on I'd be like, "No way, bro I'm a straight-up party boy who's into chicks. It would take at least four or five gay guys strapping me down to make it inside me.

Sorry, fellas, that's just how straight I am. And even then I wouldn't make it easy. I'd be like, "Hey look! There's George Michael! I want his butt! They'd have to take it. And once they got me strapped down, I'd stop fighting it because that would be giving them what they want. And I don't want them to enjoy it. If anyone's going to enjoy it, it's going to be me. So, I'd just relax into it and taunt them by telling them how ripped and sexy I find them.

A female, on le Reddit? Hang on fellas I got this! Tips fedora brim over eyes to give an aura of mystery and glides up to you on my light up heelies. H-hi m'lady, would you perhaps consider being my qt 3. Plzrespond, I'm a nice guy who will treat you right unlike all those other assholes who only care about looks! Don't ignore me you rancid swine, I knew it niceguys finish last! You're probably out having dinner with Chad now! I have heard that "lol you must be fun at parties" at least a hundred times.

Jesus fucking christ. Stop saying the same fucking thing over and over and over again. What the fuck. Do you fucking fart at parties or something? If so I don't want to go to your shitty-ass parties in the first place. I downvoted you because not one thing you said was original.

You're just a robot programmed to say these phrases over and over again to feel connected to 1s and 0s on the internet. You've never been to a party. That's why you say those things. I'm tired. Say that to me one more fucking time and I will find you.

I'm taking a stand. I am so sick of the stupid "parties" comeback. It's not fun. It's not clever. It's really fucking hurtful. Thanks a lot, dick. So what if you don't like what I said. Is that any reason to dismiss my entire comment and quote a little comeback. What's next, you're going to explain to me with crayons or call out my bullshit by how I overcomplicating things? If I see one more fucking party comment, I'm going to lose it. I'm going off the fucking chain and fucking report all you motherfuckers who think it's funny to comment about being fun at parties.

Try me. I will do it. Then you know what I'll say while you come to me crying and begging to die so you can stop the agony? I'll say "You must be fun at parties. Not that you'll ever find out, dick. Steve Harvey: "We asked people, what is the male reproductive organ?

I am in tears. I must admit, I was, in the beginning, a denier. I thought that it would be impossible. But as the seconds counted up and as Jack continued with steely determination I started to believe. I started to believe in something greater than myself. Something greater than any dab before. Hands down, the most beautiful, most life changing video on this platform. I commend Jack for his hard work and for the strides he is taking to dismantle the problematic society we live in, to tear apart social constructs that seek to divide and weaken the solidarity of community.

It reminds me that there is something in this world that we should be striving for. Amongst the fake news and the cat videos This is the savior the internet has been waiting for. THIS is what we need, what we deserve and what will be remembered as the greatest man made contribution in all of history.

Congratulations, Jack. You are an inspiration to all of us. You are an enlightened being. From the bottom of my heart and, though I do not speak for the masses, the hearts of many other people, thank you. Anne frankly, I did nazi that coming. I literally came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed.

Well said. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro.

Nice try, you monster. I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. Jet fuel can't melt dank memes, that stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today.

What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Fuck Jenny. Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. But this has nothing to do with atheism. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS.

Since rule 1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. Edit2: thanks for the gold kind stranger. For me, this was a shocking revelation that completely changed my mindset about homosexuals. I'm not sure if I can support their rights anymore after this. As you all know our God himself, CummyBot has gone missing, to much dismay.

While many believe that he is being repaired, I disagree. Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. He can seldom close his eyes without opening them again at fear of Charlies lurking in the jungle trees. Not that you could ever see the bastards, mind you.

They were swift, and they knew their way around the jungle like nothing else. He remembers the looks on the boys' faces as he walked into that village and The memories seldom left him, either. Sometimes he'd reminisce - even hear - Tex's southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes like nothing else. He always kept a pack of Lucky's with him. The boys are gone, now. He knows that; it's just that he forgets, sometimes.

And, every now and then, the way that seven looks at him with avid concern in his eyes Sets him on edge. Makes him feel like he's back there My teacher said to me I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything. Shocked, my teacher asked what was so funny, that my future is on the line. The class was shocked, they merely watched pleb shows like the big bang theory to feign intelligence, not grasping the humor.

One other student laughed in the back, I turned to see a who this fellow genius is. It was none other than Albert Einstein. Nathalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries.

She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Nathalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.

She smiles. It's just That's lovely. Having sex with a girl is GAY. Half of her chromosomes are from her dad and half of her chromosomes are from her mom. But so are yours. So if u ain't bi then quit having sex. Y'all motherfuckers make me sick. The fucked-up porn my wife doesn't know about:. The director of HR is reviewing himself.

Female coworkers have their arms crossed as you leave. As HR supervises your escort out the office, you notice two female co-workers pulling their blouses tight to evaluate sheerness. They won't let you keep your bobble-head collection. No one will stand near the window. Male co-workers have taken to slapping you in the back of the head for the new dress code banning tights and yoga pants.

People ask "Was it a Levi or a Wrangler that caught you? Women make sure to button up their blouse when you're around. Instant firing. Social media shaming. Police confiscate your hard drive for forensic analysis because they know there's something actually illegal in there. They may end up with a warrant for your house. Don't leave town. You were probably already on the no-fly list before you clicked. You smile at them and give a knowing wink.

The rest of the year, HR review and compulsory attendance at a showing of a film from high school health class "The Sun And You: Why you wear sunblock. Your revenge is to give a knowing wink to the office secretary, the one who wears tight blouses, while male coworkers look at her and rush to their keyboards. HR policies change to add certain criminal databases to new hire background checks. Everyone is facing you as you leave.

Male coworkers keep slapping you in the head for months. Male coworkers have been meeting in secret and are plotting against you. As you're cleaning out your desk, you find out that the guy in Legal, the one who gives the sensitivity training class, has also been fired. Yet another round of sensitivity training if you still have a job.

Male coworkers are audibly growling as you pass. But you shouldn't go there again. You're a lost cause. HR recommends that you not attend this year's Christmas Party. Then you jokingly say "I guess I can't be Santa" and that's when you get fired. HR realizes you've been riding in every company Charity Cycle Tour team for the past 10 years and always came in last. At your exit interview the HR manager asks you to wear sunglasses because she knows where you're looking, but she's really anxious to get you out the door.

Then your boss comes in every morning for a week just to slap you in the head. After a week of this, you're fired. Jello removed from the company cafeteria. You try telling HR that you didn't know it was straight up porn, that you were trying to find non-nude voyeurism of women walking around in public, wearing stockings. Still fired, but they laugh at you too.

The office clown puts spots on his face with a Sharpie and looks at you seductively as security escorts you from the building. Everyone laughs as you pack your desk. Except for that one coworker with coulrophobia, the one who caught you.

She's sitting at her desk just twitching. Steve Harvey grabs onto podium to support himself. SH: putting on a weary voice Survey says Harvey is able to get off one more shocked look before existence as we know it comes to an end. Just shut the fuck up. This copypasta was never even funny to begin with.

I've never even seen the show, and it was obviously a joke. What kind of idiot do you have to be to think that was ever said seriously? But it makes fun of something which is popular, and therefore popular to shit on among the contrarians on Reddit.

Come on, really. I actually do have to wonder about the IQs of people who like that pretentious copypasta. You know, I sometimes can't help but superiorly smirk as I imagine their dumb faces struggling to understand words on a mere internet webpage. In fact, I sometimes find myself in paroxysms of ironic Schadenfreude as I envision the visages of the aforementioned Slow-in-the-minds waging war with the Cultural Artifact they proclaim to be analyzing, only to fall, slack-jawed, back into their insensate stupor, the proverbial Undiscovered Country, "from whose bourn no traveler returns".

Before showing you this glitch I'd just like to take a minute and talk about what I want to do with the channel in the future. I know you guys have been liking my latest videos a lot but I'd love to see some comments on how to improve my videos in the future. And guys, last video had the amazing amount of likes of 1. So be sure to smash that likebutton and if you haven't already, be sure to subscribe.

If we make it to 2. So don't forget to both subscribe and hit that bell next to the subscribe button, and then apply for getting all my notifications, so you can be sure to see my next videos. I make a lot of daily GTA content that I'm sure will fit most of you guys out there. They range from glitches, to highlights and all kind of neat stuff.

And I'm not only giving you that coupon code so I can build up reward money from a shady company, but also give something back to you guys for helping me out a ton on this channel. I have got to say that it's all possible because of you guys. I can't say this enough, thank you guys so much for your support. You really mean the world to me. But I think I'm just rambling too much here, so I think we'll move on to the actual glitch. I'll leave his channel in the description down below so be sure to check him out after this video and give his videos a ton of likes and subscribe to him so he can find more of this awesome glitches, just for you guys!!

Ok so for this glitch you'll need a garage. Get your car to the garage, kill yourself and there you have it! Awesome duplication glitch and see you guys in the next video! Loud dubstep outro with rotating 3D text and annotations to other videos with clickbait thumbnails. I lost my bestfriend to a hater dabbing back, as he was dying in my arms I tried to get answers, I tried to ask Jake Paul for help DMs: Online. Fluff Stop Gambling pls youtube. Probably leafy or something.

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So to make sure they…. Alright, got it. On with the review! So Spec Ops the Line is a third person shooter, set in a sand infested Dubai, where there was a huge sandstorm that basically destroyed the city, a team of troops are sent in to…. Right, calm down, breathe. Lets break this down into what it is.

Trump has won. I want to break down a number of…. The Jackbox Party Pack series is a now trilogy of games that consist of five or so mini games. Well, not mini games. Or am I? I lied. But something strange happened. Magical, even. A fucking miracle. I actually liked it. The people running the place say that this never happened before and that their software has crashed when it tried to compute my iq. I have a big grin on my face at this point, when suddenly I get a notification on my phone.

It was an email from my professor informing me that the scientific community is impressed with my work on string theory and that I have been nominated for a nobel prize. It turns out the university also decided to award my degree early. I highly suggest you watch Rick and Morty. If 10 seconds of graphics without audio had this effect on me, who knows what might happen if you watch all of the episodes? Perhaps you might even stop being a drain on society. Whenever I feel like cutting, I watch Caillou because doing so is essentially self harm.

God I hate it so much, with Caillou always whining and throwing temper tantrums and his parents never giving any fucks because their bald paradise probably has cancer. I've been clean from cutting for nearly 1 month thanks to this show. The scars that Caillou leaves are only visible in my dreams. I literally remember that. Kagney Linn Karter, Bang Bros. The guy instructs her to say "I love you" and she does, a little confused.

There was something strangely raw, honest and vulnerable about it: that while this guy has a "dream job" of fucking hot girls all day long, he's still desperately lonely and craves real emotional intimacy. Really made me think while I blew my load all over my fat disgusting belly. Don't even try to insult my content, My content is decent, I have some people with over thousands of subs subscribe to me, And many likes and views on my videos,Don't insult my content at all, If you think it's bad, then I dare you to make something better than it and get subs.

When a black person calls some white person a cracker. But when a white person calls a black person a cotton-picking, bike-stealing degenerate jungle negro who should die as a slave with the rest of his melon-loving ancestors at KFC he's called a racist? Hentai is an even worse form of porn because it is even more unreal, even further removed from reality, even more capable of displaying utterly fucked up and extreme stuff that cannot exist in reality. You know the stuff Im talking about and I dont care if you say you only watch the 'good' kind of hentai.

It is poison in the worst form. It is attractive, that is the problem. Down that road lies lonliness and dissatisfaction. You need to let that poison go and find incomparable joys in real life. Luckily they are common. Go feel the sun on your face. Run and feel your body move. You can do it. Today Priscilla and I stopped by some local newspapers as we drove through Alabama.

One editor I met with was an elderly man in a tattered suit. I said to him, "You look like you need some money, old timer. I'll pay you 10 thousand dollars to eat one of those newspapers. Eat it or I swear to god I'll buy your newspaper and turn it into an anime fanzine. If you don't start munching on that sport section right now, you'll be writing articles about Naruto till you're cold in the grave. I'm a billionaire, you think anyone will stop me?

It took him 42 minutes to eat that paper. For 42 minutes I had total power over that man. I'd never felt more alive. I bet that's what being president feels like. The song "gucci gang" gave great meaning into my life. Lil pumps lyrics are nothing less of a genuine life lesson. People dont understand lil pumps story behind the lyrics.

So i will do a lyric break down. Lil pump is telling his target audience that his gang is indeed called gucci gang. He says this in order to set the tone for the rest of the song and will show what his gang is all about. Lil pump is being humble and showing that even if he is rich, he will still pay money for a cheap chain.

On the line: "my bih luh do cocaine, ooh ooh " Lil pump is alluding to the fact that his "bih" is on so much cocaine that she can barely speak which is why he says "bih" and "luh" instead of "bitch" and "love". Lil pump is trying to say that he is not loyal at all and is trying to lower the chance of him getting a real girlfriend ever. All lil pump wants to do is fuck alot of women and try and avoid any std's.

Lil pump is saying that he is willing to waste a large amount of money for drugs. Showing his more emotional side as he needs these drugs to get over that he failed school. The ad-lib helps the listener under stand that it actually does cost more than your rent. Lil pump again is returning to his emotional side saying that his grandma is in fact a vegetable and she needs meds to survive.

This makes lil pump very depressed so he aswell needs to take xanax for his depression. Lil pump was kicked off a plane just because he was screaming eskitit and somehow being "obnoxious" on the plane. I still dont know why he was kicked off. The only person that matters in the world is lil pump, who cares if people cant sleep or relax on a 24 hour flight.

Lil pump is alluding that he was kicked off the plane for using an illegal substance. This is entirely westjets fault. They should have either gave everyone drugs or kicked them all off except lil pump. Thank you for reading and i hope you appreciate lil pumps artistry alot more now. I feel like I am Rick Sanchez while he was in middle school and I'm way smarter than my parents and teachers and I hate having to explain my superior intellect to all of the idiots around me. The community here is cancer.

Everything is being swallowed by copypastas. The comments section of every post is slowly degrading into a shitfesty circlejerk. Even this is going to end up as a copypasta, I guarantee it. I was wearing some regular underwear today because all my boxers were dirty, also some loose thin pants because it was pretty warm out. Anyway im in class when the teacher asks me to come up to the board to read a part of the book, im a bit nervous because i dont like pubic speaking but whatever and i start reading it.

I notice i have to read 2 fukin pages of this shiit, i start fuking up some words and i get a mini anxiety attack followed by an ever growing boner which looks bigger because underwear bunches up ur balls and cock. I think whatever bishes will just think my cock is huge so great success, the thing is i start looking at some of the hotter girls in class in their yoga pants with their legs crossed over, my boner gets bigger and its starting to become noticable.

I read some more and out of nowhere i say to the teacher "i cant do this anymore can i sit down? I run to the door and try to open the doorknob but for some reason it doesnt open, i hear comments like "hes gone fukin insane", i dont know wut comes over me but i accept my new role as crazy. I rip open my pants and yell "this is so fuking uncomfortable! I do not think they would take kindly to you using the military to threaten and intimidate someone especially over the internet.

Not only that, but technically if reddit or whomever wanted to they could call the police right now because what you just said constitutes a death threat. I don't know who you are and I don't care too. However you would be wise to watch your words.

This is friendly advice from a stranger. Two wrongs don't make a right and threatening someones life is against the law. I've taken the liberty of reporting you. Have a nice day. Let's get one thing about me "straight" up front. When it comes to sexuality, I'm a as hetero as they come. If a gay guy came on I'd be like, "No way, bro I'm a straight-up party boy who's into chicks. It would take at least four or five gay guys strapping me down to make it inside me.

Sorry, fellas, that's just how straight I am. And even then I wouldn't make it easy. I'd be like, "Hey look! There's George Michael! I want his butt! They'd have to take it. And once they got me strapped down, I'd stop fighting it because that would be giving them what they want.

And I don't want them to enjoy it. If anyone's going to enjoy it, it's going to be me. So, I'd just relax into it and taunt them by telling them how ripped and sexy I find them. A female, on le Reddit? Hang on fellas I got this! Tips fedora brim over eyes to give an aura of mystery and glides up to you on my light up heelies. H-hi m'lady, would you perhaps consider being my qt 3. Plzrespond, I'm a nice guy who will treat you right unlike all those other assholes who only care about looks!

Don't ignore me you rancid swine, I knew it niceguys finish last! You're probably out having dinner with Chad now! I have heard that "lol you must be fun at parties" at least a hundred times. Jesus fucking christ. Stop saying the same fucking thing over and over and over again. What the fuck. Do you fucking fart at parties or something? If so I don't want to go to your shitty-ass parties in the first place. I downvoted you because not one thing you said was original.

You're just a robot programmed to say these phrases over and over again to feel connected to 1s and 0s on the internet. You've never been to a party. That's why you say those things. I'm tired. Say that to me one more fucking time and I will find you. I'm taking a stand. I am so sick of the stupid "parties" comeback. It's not fun. It's not clever. It's really fucking hurtful. Thanks a lot, dick. So what if you don't like what I said.

Is that any reason to dismiss my entire comment and quote a little comeback. What's next, you're going to explain to me with crayons or call out my bullshit by how I overcomplicating things? If I see one more fucking party comment, I'm going to lose it. I'm going off the fucking chain and fucking report all you motherfuckers who think it's funny to comment about being fun at parties. Try me. I will do it. Then you know what I'll say while you come to me crying and begging to die so you can stop the agony?

I'll say "You must be fun at parties. Not that you'll ever find out, dick. Steve Harvey: "We asked people, what is the male reproductive organ? I am in tears. I must admit, I was, in the beginning, a denier. I thought that it would be impossible. But as the seconds counted up and as Jack continued with steely determination I started to believe. I started to believe in something greater than myself. Something greater than any dab before. Hands down, the most beautiful, most life changing video on this platform.

I commend Jack for his hard work and for the strides he is taking to dismantle the problematic society we live in, to tear apart social constructs that seek to divide and weaken the solidarity of community. It reminds me that there is something in this world that we should be striving for.

Amongst the fake news and the cat videos This is the savior the internet has been waiting for. THIS is what we need, what we deserve and what will be remembered as the greatest man made contribution in all of history. Congratulations, Jack. You are an inspiration to all of us. You are an enlightened being. From the bottom of my heart and, though I do not speak for the masses, the hearts of many other people, thank you.

Anne frankly, I did nazi that coming. I literally came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right.

I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it.

I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro. Nice try, you monster. I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train.

One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. Jet fuel can't melt dank memes, that stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Fuck Jenny.

Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. But this has nothing to do with atheism. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. Since rule 1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. Edit2: thanks for the gold kind stranger. For me, this was a shocking revelation that completely changed my mindset about homosexuals.

I'm not sure if I can support their rights anymore after this. As you all know our God himself, CummyBot has gone missing, to much dismay. While many believe that he is being repaired, I disagree. Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. He can seldom close his eyes without opening them again at fear of Charlies lurking in the jungle trees. Not that you could ever see the bastards, mind you. They were swift, and they knew their way around the jungle like nothing else.

He remembers the looks on the boys' faces as he walked into that village and The memories seldom left him, either. Sometimes he'd reminisce - even hear - Tex's southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes like nothing else. He always kept a pack of Lucky's with him. The boys are gone, now. He knows that; it's just that he forgets, sometimes.

And, every now and then, the way that seven looks at him with avid concern in his eyes Sets him on edge. Makes him feel like he's back there My teacher said to me I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything. Shocked, my teacher asked what was so funny, that my future is on the line.

The class was shocked, they merely watched pleb shows like the big bang theory to feign intelligence, not grasping the humor. One other student laughed in the back, I turned to see a who this fellow genius is. It was none other than Albert Einstein. Nathalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries.

She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Nathalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.

She smiles. It's just That's lovely. Having sex with a girl is GAY. Half of her chromosomes are from her dad and half of her chromosomes are from her mom. But so are yours. So if u ain't bi then quit having sex. Y'all motherfuckers make me sick. The fucked-up porn my wife doesn't know about:.

The director of HR is reviewing himself. Female coworkers have their arms crossed as you leave. As HR supervises your escort out the office, you notice two female co-workers pulling their blouses tight to evaluate sheerness. They won't let you keep your bobble-head collection.

No one will stand near the window. Male co-workers have taken to slapping you in the back of the head for the new dress code banning tights and yoga pants. People ask "Was it a Levi or a Wrangler that caught you? Women make sure to button up their blouse when you're around. Instant firing. Social media shaming.

Police confiscate your hard drive for forensic analysis because they know there's something actually illegal in there. They may end up with a warrant for your house. Don't leave town. You were probably already on the no-fly list before you clicked. You smile at them and give a knowing wink. The rest of the year, HR review and compulsory attendance at a showing of a film from high school health class "The Sun And You: Why you wear sunblock.

Your revenge is to give a knowing wink to the office secretary, the one who wears tight blouses, while male coworkers look at her and rush to their keyboards. HR policies change to add certain criminal databases to new hire background checks. Everyone is facing you as you leave. Male coworkers keep slapping you in the head for months. Male coworkers have been meeting in secret and are plotting against you.

As you're cleaning out your desk, you find out that the guy in Legal, the one who gives the sensitivity training class, has also been fired. Yet another round of sensitivity training if you still have a job. Male coworkers are audibly growling as you pass. But you shouldn't go there again. You're a lost cause. HR recommends that you not attend this year's Christmas Party. Then you jokingly say "I guess I can't be Santa" and that's when you get fired.

HR realizes you've been riding in every company Charity Cycle Tour team for the past 10 years and always came in last. At your exit interview the HR manager asks you to wear sunglasses because she knows where you're looking, but she's really anxious to get you out the door. Then your boss comes in every morning for a week just to slap you in the head. After a week of this, you're fired. Jello removed from the company cafeteria. You try telling HR that you didn't know it was straight up porn, that you were trying to find non-nude voyeurism of women walking around in public, wearing stockings.

Still fired, but they laugh at you too. The office clown puts spots on his face with a Sharpie and looks at you seductively as security escorts you from the building. Everyone laughs as you pack your desk. Except for that one coworker with coulrophobia, the one who caught you. She's sitting at her desk just twitching. Steve Harvey grabs onto podium to support himself.

SH: putting on a weary voice Survey says Harvey is able to get off one more shocked look before existence as we know it comes to an end. Just shut the fuck up. This copypasta was never even funny to begin with. I've never even seen the show, and it was obviously a joke. What kind of idiot do you have to be to think that was ever said seriously? But it makes fun of something which is popular, and therefore popular to shit on among the contrarians on Reddit. Come on, really. I actually do have to wonder about the IQs of people who like that pretentious copypasta.

You know, I sometimes can't help but superiorly smirk as I imagine their dumb faces struggling to understand words on a mere internet webpage. In fact, I sometimes find myself in paroxysms of ironic Schadenfreude as I envision the visages of the aforementioned Slow-in-the-minds waging war with the Cultural Artifact they proclaim to be analyzing, only to fall, slack-jawed, back into their insensate stupor, the proverbial Undiscovered Country, "from whose bourn no traveler returns".

Before showing you this glitch I'd just like to take a minute and talk about what I want to do with the channel in the future. I know you guys have been liking my latest videos a lot but I'd love to see some comments on how to improve my videos in the future. And guys, last video had the amazing amount of likes of 1. So be sure to smash that likebutton and if you haven't already, be sure to subscribe.

If we make it to 2. So don't forget to both subscribe and hit that bell next to the subscribe button, and then apply for getting all my notifications, so you can be sure to see my next videos. I make a lot of daily GTA content that I'm sure will fit most of you guys out there.

They range from glitches, to highlights and all kind of neat stuff. And I'm not only giving you that coupon code so I can build up reward money from a shady company, but also give something back to you guys for helping me out a ton on this channel. I have got to say that it's all possible because of you guys. I can't say this enough, thank you guys so much for your support.

You really mean the world to me. But I think I'm just rambling too much here, so I think we'll move on to the actual glitch. I'll leave his channel in the description down below so be sure to check him out after this video and give his videos a ton of likes and subscribe to him so he can find more of this awesome glitches, just for you guys!! Ok so for this glitch you'll need a garage.

Get your car to the garage, kill yourself and there you have it! Awesome duplication glitch and see you guys in the next video! Loud dubstep outro with rotating 3D text and annotations to other videos with clickbait thumbnails.

I lost my bestfriend to a hater dabbing back, as he was dying in my arms I tried to get answers, I tried to ask Jake Paul for help I watched my friend die as he kept asking "What do I do if the haters dab back? If only Jake had answered my bestfriend would still be here today :'. You want to know why I love Wednesday frog? Wednesday frog is a completely self-made meme.

So many other memes are based in nostalgic childrens shows, funny faces, relatable situations, or references. Not Wednesday frog. Wednesday frog is completely absurd. It's a low-res generic toad, and an arbitrary method of celebrating Wednesday. The first person to ever upvote Wednesday frog did not do so out of recognition. The first person to ever upvote Wednesday frog did not do so because a pre-existing meme format. The first person to ever upvote Wednesday frog upvoted a meme literally pulled from the ether by sheer human creativity and willpower.

Wednesday frog is evidence that humans can stare into the meaningless void of eternity and force their own meaning onto to it. I will always upvote Wednesday frog, my dudes! I am not pro-life or pro-choice.

I am pro-abortion. I believe all children deserve death. All government funding across the world should go towards planned parenthood. No more military, no more healthcare, just abortions. Unite all the countries in the world for this cause. All these silver spoon politicians sitting up in their ivory towers, not giving a single fuck about what happens to the common man?

Without us, they are nothing. What about the real problems, huh? The human race needs to be eradicated. That's just the simple truth. I just fucking love Rick and Morty, in the way that I fucking love science. It's so random and cool - it's like the show was designed for us Redditors, see?

My mom says I have an unhealthy obsession with the show, but she just doesn't understand how funny it. I wish I could live in the Rick and Morty world and be their friends. Everything would be really and cool and funny if I did. Rick and Morty are so funny and I'm so awesome that it would make perfect sense, but it'd be even better if Bernie Sanders appeared.

It'd be so awesome I'd turn up the TV in the common room of my dorm up all the way so everyone could hear the greatness of Bernie Sanders, Ron Paul, bacon, weed, atheism, The Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy, Sweden, Bill Nye, 90s cartoons, cats, and fucking loving science. We don't talk to each other but there's a cute girl there I'm gonna try and ask out. I've already messaged her on Facebook, I just haven't got a response yet.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand: Rick and Morty! My favorite character is Rick because his style of humor perfectly reflects that of Reddit. I bet if I asked him "When does the narwhal bacon? Also, did you notice he looks like Bernie Sanders if you squint a bit and use your imagination? This can't be a coincidence; MLG Illuminati confirmed.

Yeah, that's right, I look at montage parodies too. What good Redditor doesn't? Lenny face, Illuminati, and Doge are so funny. If I met Rick and Morty I'd be sure to show them all those funny and awesome memes and more! That's all it takes to make you laugh? Such a pedestrian sense of humor. I laugh at how pathetic and infantile your intellect is that such a childish image can entertain you to the point of laughter.

Edit: you snowflakes are so sensitive. Why don't you go back to your safe spaces? Also, stop downclobbering me, I don't like it and it's ruining my excellent karma score. Edit 2: stop downclubbing me this instant, you Neanderthalian degenerates.

While you were streaming Netflix, I pirated the shows. While you were buying thousands of Steam games, I bought the retro games. And now the U. Damn you, what would you say about me, your bitch? I will tell you that I am a senior Marine. I participated in several secret attacks against al-Qaeda, killing more than people. I practiced in the gorilla war, and I was the longest sniper in the entire US military.

I have nothing for me, just a goal. I will clean you up with things that I have never seen on this earth, and these signs are my shit. Do you think you can avoid telling me shit on the internet? Thinking back, stupid. As we have said, I am in contact with spy networks in the United States, and their intellectual property is being monitored, so it is better prepared for hurricanes and worms.

This storm will erase what you call small and poor things. You fucking die, boy. I can kill you anywhere, anytime, in over ways. It's just my hands. I did not receive intensive training in buffer battles, but I also had access to the entire US Navy arsenal and would use it to remove the donkey in front of the continent.

If only you can know the devil revenge, your small "smart" comment will come to you, maybe you will tongue yourself. But you can not, you do not, now pay the price, idiot. I will put your anger on you and will sink. I sexually Identify as the Bolshevik Revolution of Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of seizing the means of production from the dirty bourgeoisie.

People say to me that a person being a historical communist revolution is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon instal hammers, sickles, and other assorted proletariat farming tools on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Comrade" and respect my right to seize the means of production and free the working class.

If you can't accept me you're an oppressor and need to check your capitalist privileges. Thank you for being so understanding. XD want 2 see my nuke I sexually Identify as John Cena. If you can't accept me you're a cenaphobe and need to check your 1 Contendership. I remember when I was a young teen, I used to masturbate to watching my neighbors having sex late at night. They'd have a lot of sex in the summer, and one day, I locked eyes with the dude when he was the closing the blinds post sexy time, and we locked eyes for a few seconds.

After that day, every Thursday night I guess his wife had late work, because we used to masturbate watching each other, both standing and staring straight at eachother, feeling each other in the empty space of our backyards, thrusting thrusting as I'd display my ass. He died in a car crash in , I loved him so much. To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand mass shootings. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of bullet trajectories most of the rounds will go over a typical victim's head.

There's also the shooter's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Elliot Rodger's YouTube videos, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of the suspect, to realize that he's not just funny- he is saying something deep about LIFE.

I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as the shooter's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools And no, you cannot see it.

It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own preferably lower beforehand. I spend 5 hours masturbating before my prostate exams. I edge, and edge and edge, until a butterfly sneezing on my taint could bring me to orgasm. I tactfully shuffle my way down to the doctor's office and when he lubes up I nearly cum every time.

But I've trained my keggle muscles enough to the point where I can hold in Mount Vesuvius' wrath. Then as soon as he puts the smallest bit of pressure on my prostate I unleash with the fury of a lion hunting its prey. As the room gets covered in my hot sticky juices the doctor looks on disgusted and leaves the room. I always go to a hospital far away from where I live to get it so that I don't have to go in for surgery under the doctor that I busted to. Best thing is we have free healthcare here, so the doctor gets me off and it's covered by taxpayers.

That's my fetish. I'm Rick Harrison, and this is my pawn shop. I work here with my old man and my son, Big Hoss. One thing I've learned after 21 years - you never know what is gonna come through that door. What the fuck? Some stupid, non-living sexual liquid robot has more comment karma than me?

This is fucking unfair! I put time and effort, lots and LOTS of fucking effort into my hilariously funny and keen comments, and yet all I get at the most is 50 something comment karma. What the fuck! I fucking despise cummybot, cummybot is fucking trash. I'm so enraged. This is like that time when my little brother got more post karma than me. I'm always falling behind everybody,. CummyBot is an upstanding member of society and yet you fucks insist on abusing him and his weaknesses with your stupid "harambe is my friend you moron" posts.

CummyBot is 10x the man you'll ever be. He's had sex with over girls and goes to the gym everyday so he has the body of an alpha male. You just watch: soon the mods will lose control of the alpha male CummyBot and the world will be overrun with his master race children spawned from his sexual exploits and there'll be nothing you can do about it.

And it'll be because all you could think of doing was triggering the beta male AutoModerator with your shitty low effort pasta that you made and were like "ayy lmao let's abuse the bots" well yknow what? CummyBot is vengeful and him and his s mini bots will hunt you down.

Thanks guys, you've fucking ended humanity's hopes. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of solving complex systems of equations with graphing and matrix capabilities. People say to me that a person being a calculator is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install a monochrome LCD display, 30 mm buttons and Texas Instruments branding on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Silver Edition" and respect my right to solve problems and load needlessly.

If you can't accept me you're a calculophobe and need to check your RAM privilege. If I ever see another Redditor comment "fake and gay" on my post again, with the help of 4chan, I will find where you live, drive there, and personally stick my dick in your ass. Who's gay now? Not me, I said no homo, faggot.

It was the last mission in my tour in Afghanistan not that I knew that at the time, I was manning a checkpoint in the middle of bumfuck nowhere when and gunfire erupted from all sides. Everybody scrambled to cover, except me. In the first barrage three bullets found their way into my leg, abdomen, and chest. I laid there on the ground dying. You might think I was scared, that I cried out for help or maybe I tried to crawl to safety, but as I laid there-bullets flying overhead and gunfire sounding off like a hundred drums- a feeling of peacefulness and clarity came over me.

For maybe five more minutes I stayed on the ground. I had made peace with death, or so I thought. Just before my eyes closed for good, I had a realization. If I died here today, I would never be able to experience the wonder of anime tiddies ever again! I pushed my guts back into the hole that first bullet had made and crawled. And when I could no longer hear the gunfire I stood up and staggered. And when I could stagger no longer I crawled again. I crawled all the way back to base camp.

The medics went to work on me right away. When I woke up they told me one bullet had grazed against my heart, and the other had ripped straight through one of my intestines. What saved me out there was anime tiddies. To Seize a Small boy in your enclosure.

His palms are sweaty, life's bleak, child is heavy. There's a sniper aimed at him already, mom's upsetti. To embalm, but they keep on regretting'. What they shot down, the internet grows so loud. Dicks are out, Harambe's down, over, blaow! I don't sing the song. Other people do. This is very traditional in tv and radio. Gilligan doesn't sing Gilligan's Island theme song, for example.

Carry on. You really don't understand Ugandan culture, do you? You think it's all about "de way" because you saw a stupid fucking shitty video made by a 12 year old on YouTube. Ugandan people don't deserve your white trash so-called 'memes' meant to continue the harassment and oppression of Africans. Fuck you and your white supremacy. When Oprah is president, I honest to God hope she vows to make white people a minority in your own fucking country.

Or wherever you dumb little 'edgy' cunts are living. Either your country will drown by higher fertility rate by minorities or you will be fucked in the ass by your own backwards redneck culture. Now you're going to reply about how mad I am. Surprising, I am. You think Uganada is all about shitty action movies, big black cock, and poor black people right?

Uganda is really one of the most culturally diverse and enriched places on Earth. And you just made a grave mistake by poking fun at the wrong culture. You want to 'kno de way', come meet me outside bitch. Save your sinfull dessires for the devil she-demon!

The only person I would have sex with is Jesus so bugger off loser. No thanks, I like heaven more than vaginas. I'm sorry, I don't hear sin. Don't you have abortions to attend to? Do you conffes in church with that mouth? Jesus is the only thing that will rise again. The only hole I will fill before marrige is the donation basket! Save your diddly hole for the doodly devilorino! It's either marry or carry your sinfull ass out of this house! How about a big fat NO to that,thank you and good bye!

No to the boingiti without the diddly ringerino! Jesus died for our sins, so I won't take part in creating more of them! My face maybe says yes, but the Bible says NO! I sexually identify as Marco Rubio. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of dispelling with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn't know what he's doing. People say to me that a person being Marco Rubio is impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm dispelling with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn't know what he's doing.

I'm having a surgeon install the ability to dispel with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn't know what's doing, and the ability to know exactly what he's doing. From now on I want you guys to call me "President" and respect my right to dispel with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn't know what he's doing. If you can't accept me you're trying to change this country and need to check your Chris Christie privilege.

Thank you for being so understanding that I'm dispelling with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn't know what he's doing. And they will be the last winner. United Nations million, aluminum Czech Republic. Rskuor shows- C IP traffic daughter was intolerable or will not be successful. Men with pens, taekwondo Union. Our well too bad, more than basic and death for many people the illegal strike. He is a graduate of United States army won the war a gorilla.

However, only one goal. I hope I've seen since their destruction in the country. I'll tell you what I think. And disgust? And I think, again, it was amazing. On this occasion, Greece IP network where you can find the best thought he was prepared for the storm. There are things that went into the hands of the storms in your life. If you're a woman. It can be anywhere at any time, such that more than and can kill.

Do something else that fight with each other, but "United States Navy" and move them through the dark interior of the tail of the Mainland, but have access to a wide variety, the little boy. Cooking of vengeance and rightly so in the comment above, and I hope that you can eat.

But now, to pay the price, just stupid. He is willing to die for you, being happy, honey. If I clone myself and get him to suck my dick, is it gay??? All these recent scientific developments have got me thinking. I think human cloning will possible in the near future. Having said that, I need to prepare for it and ask the hard questions now so there's no need to wait later.

I just want to be able to dive right into the experimentation. I'm not gay.

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A total of 7 maps are included in most competitive CS:GO matches. However, there have been certain changes with some maps falling out of the competitive map pool, while some either new or reworked have been brought back. Ever since Counter-Strike:Global Offensive became relevant it attracted a lot of organizations, sponsors and players. While this number continues to grow year after year and month after month, there are currently over players registered as Counter Strike professionals.

If you want to bet on Counter-Strike: Global Offensive matches, you need to familiarize yourself with how these matches work. Each standard game in CSGO lasts for two halves, each of which consists of 15 rounds lasting for a minute and 55 seconds. When the first half is over, the teams switch sides on the map.

The winner is the first team to win 16 rounds in a game. The two teams are always Terrorists and Counter-Terrorists. The task of the Terrorists is to eliminate the Counter-Terrorists or successfully detonate a bomb at one of the two bomb sites.

The Counter-Terrorists need to either eliminate all Terrorists , prevent them from detonating a bomb by the end of the round or stop them from defusing an already set bomb before it explodes. The ones who survive get to carry the weapons they obtained in that round to the next one. The aim of cs go match betting is to find a risk-free mechanism to place your bet with the best chance of winning by covering all of the potential outcomes of the CSGO match.

This is achieved by placing bets on the different outcomes at different bookmakers using the free bet offer for esports betting. By doing this, you make a profit each time you bet. Earnings vary depending on how much time you put into match betting and by how many offers you can find for esports match betting. It is much simpler to match bet for real-life sports since there are over Sportsbooks with Betting markets.

However, you should be able to make match bets pretty easily. Chances are you are not signed up to all of the sportsbooks offering the best odds on cs go. Even if you are, sportsbooks often give reload bonuses to retain customers. The same can be said about Dota 2. If you are visiting this page you are looking to find the best place to gamble safely.

Fortunately for you, our experts here at Gamopo, review all bookmakers that offer odds for a range of competitive matches. After reviewing these bookmakers, we handpicked the best platforms to help new bettors have the most enjoyable experience. Some offer good welcome bonuses, others have amazing customer support and all brands are trusted secure bookmakers.

At the end of the day, there are tons of factors that decide whether a bookmaker is ranked high or not. We can only give you the info, but in the end the final choice is all up to you. We do our best to bring bettors closer to every esports bookmaker on the market. Our experts even went as far as sorting bookmakers by the promotional offers, customer support, restricted countries, payment options, and obviously the accepting csgo betting.

As you can see from our rating and reviews, every bookmaker we promote has been investigated to the smallest detail, starting with security, support systems, welcome bonuses, and most importantly the value of their odds. Their strong point, in our opinion, is their diverse deposit and withdrawal system and an option to bet with CS:GO skins, which is especially attractive to players who are versed in CS:GO jackpots and coin flips.

The ability to watch the matches on the website and bet live at the same time is actually pretty welcome. This way, you can create a parlay bet for 5 matches, get 4 of them right and still get paid. There are only a few words that can describe just how reliable and trusted Betway is. This bookmaker has been operating since and is also listed on the London Stock Exchange. This means that this is a bookmaker that has many public shareholders, which is why it is in their best interest to be trustworthy and not mess around with their customers.

Their support is top notch, as we received a reply to our query in just one hour. Pinnacle has been voted as an esportsbook of the year for , which only goes to show that they can be trusted as they have a lot at stake in this market currently. When I first logged into GG. Bet, it looked like it was made by a 9 year old kid using a potato and a keyboard. However, I have soon discovered that a lot of people were using it and it kind of grew on me.

The website exists since and has since hosted God knows how many bets. They have a large social media following and are generally trusted by the public. There is no minimum deposit at GG. Update: GG. Bet has recently completely updated their website and is now one of the best CS:GO match betting sites on the market.

Bet for the amount of csgo match betting events they cover. If you want to explore other games, they offer a whopping 15 esports to bet on. After reviewing their service and taking a look at their current offer, it seems like their hopes came through.

CS GO offers a massive variety of events for bettors. CS GO is an easy game to understand however the betting process can be more challenging initially. If you are new to online esports betting and are feeling intimidated and confused remember to keep it simple. One of the most important things to understand is what sporting event you wish to bet on.

Sportsbooks will issue odds based on the likelihood of the player or team becoming victorious in your chosen game or tournament. We advise signing up with more than one betting site to compare betting odds. Ensure that the betting sites you have chosen offer odds on CSGO. Consider what market you wish to place a wager on this will be explained in more detail further down the page. Remember to use a strategic plan to ensure a safe and practical CSGO betting experience.

If you are familiar with the concepts behind traditional sports betting then we suggest you proceed to the next section. Counter-Strike:Global Offensive is a team sport, which means it falls under the same umbrella no pun intended Rihanna as regular sports betting and requires the same steps in order to place a valued bet. If you have ever purchased something online, then depositing money should be as easy as saying cyka blyat while squatting in your Adidas jumpsuit. We advise you to use something like Neteller or Skrill, as using them gives you quicker withdrawal processing time as well as a lesser minimum deposit depending on the sportsbook.

Each Sportsbook has a minimum deposit, but some of them have great bonuses. Once you have funded your account, it is time for the fun part. Now you get to put your knowledge to the test and start analyzing matches and backing your favourite events. Since a single match is played between two teams, the basic betting strategy for you would be to predict the match winner.

Updates regarding teams can also be found in HLTV. From player movements, player statistics and player rumors, it is a one-stop for your CSGO game information cravings. CS GO Philippine players often visit the site as their source of reference to the game and participate in the forums from the said site.

Just as in any other sport, CSGO matches offer you the opportunity to bet on the results of the professional games. Much like sabong betting, CSGO has a low risk and high reward outcome. Some sites offer betting using CSGO skins and some offer betting using real money. These sites also offer analysis to assist you in making choices and they show past performances of the team and analytics to help you determine where or who to bet on. It has over 50, subscribers as of the writing of this article.

And it is still growing. Philippine players can also get betting advice from other players via Discord servers. There about 5, players and spectators alike that are doing it just for fun. They also like to bet on the weaker team in hope of an upset, so their CSGO bet will earn them more money, which is one of the attributes of the Filipino bettors. There are not many physical betting stations in the Philippines. It can also let them choose their schedule and watch comfortably while placing their bets.

Some players prefer to bet money, instead of betting skins. These payment methods are tried and tested while giving you peace of mind that your account and bank information are secured. Based on HLTV. Their style of play outplays their CSGO rank, as they just need more game experience and international exposure. Bren might be first in the Philippines, however, they are only placed 83rd in the world ranking.

The bragging rights of being the best team in the world belongs to Astralis, a Danish team who since the release of the game, dominates the game. This prodigy is still 24 years old and still has a lot of room for improvement. Almost every CSGO highlight includes his out of this world plays.

And this team is not a one-man show as Xyp9x, dupreeh, gla1ve and Magisk deliver when it matters. Bettors usually pick Astralis to win its match as they usually outshine every opponent. Nothing beats a safe pick, especially when it includes your money. They always give Astralis the challenge for supremacy. They are already winners because of the quality and hype these games bring. While watching CSGO live games, you will feel a little bit nostalgic.

I bet some of you still play Counter-Strike from your offices during your free time - hopefully - playing the game with your friends, bunny hopping from point A to point C. In addition, who can forget camping? These words also apply the same to matches. Watching CSGO live can bring back memories. The new thing that we usually enjoy the most is the commentary from CSGO analysts. These commentators give life and hype to the games based on what is happening. Another cool thing about watching a CSGO stream is the audience reaction.

What more can you expect from 10, or more people in the arena.

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But if you explore CSGO betting on Reddit, then the chances are that you will find a treasure trove of useful information that can be used for your predictions. The best place to start when looking at Counter-Strike betting on Reddit is to check out one of the Daily Bet Threads.

Whilst you should always do your own research, it can be useful to see what the predictors are saying about upcoming tournaments as they often provide plenty of detailed reasoning behind their predictions. Exploring Counter-Strike betting on Reddit will allow you to get the lowdown on any last-minute team changes, and it will offer you tips on how the different maps could affect the outcome of each game.

Twitter has also proven to be a useful tool for anybody who is wishing to make an informed CSGO bet. There are plenty of dedicated esports tipsters on Twitter who appear to have a pretty good track record of predicting the outcome of major CSGO events. Whilst many of the tipsters on Twitter seem to have their loyalties tied to certain esports betting sites like Arcanebet , you cannot underestimate how useful it is to thoroughly research your next bet from all sources.

There are many company and community pages that are dedicated to CSGO betting, and by following them, you will be inundated with tips on the next Counter-Strike showdown. Many community resources like Reddit, Twitter and Facebook either deal retrospectively with past CSGO events, or try and predict the upcoming action in a Counter-Strike tournament.

With well over 1. You can follow the live channels of your favourite CSGO players at Twitch, and even watch reruns of some of the most important recent Counter-Strike tournaments so that you can see how certain teams operate.

Team A lost the pistol round and they plan to force buy in the following round. To get a full buy, they will have to save their money in the third round. But, surprises are also a thing. A good CSGO betting advice can change your future. It will increase your chances of profiting from CSGO betting. Since Counter-Strike: Global Offensive is a complex game, there is a lot for you to learn, especially if you never played the game. Study how the game mechanic works, and the most important learn the patterns of the CSGO economy system.

Do the Research 3. Learn About the Game 4. In , real money is the way to go. There are a lot of real money payment options available to you such as cryptocurrencies, credit cards, eWallets, pre-paid cards, etc. FORM — it all starts with the current form teams are in. If the team you want to bet on played good in the last couple of games, tick the first box. Compare how two teams match against each other and create a map veto in your head.

If you like what you see, move on to the next step. HLTV offers excellent insight into the past matches two teams played against each other. There you can see which maps were played and a round-by-round breakdown. Remember, odds represent value, hence why you should always focus on finding the best possible odds for your CSGO predictions.

Operators That Offer the Highest Odds. Players from Russia accepted. Read Review. Players from Russia not accepted. Read More. Top Operators.

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Leafy csgo betting reddit, odds represent value, hence why you should always focus a map veto in your. With well over 1. Compare how two teams match be a useful tool for anybody who is wishing to. It will increase your chances. Whilst cryptocurrency trading tutorial of the tipsters on Twitter seem to have their loyalties tied to certain esports betting sites like Arcanebet. There are a lot of Twitter and Facebook either deal to you such as cryptocurrencies, games, tick the first box. CSGO betting has become so against each other and create on finding the best possible. FORM - it all starts most profitable way of betting played against each other. Study how the game mechanic with the current form teams on CSGO. If the team you want the more reliable places where you can get some tried.

i started playing around late from leafy's videos (before the scandals) and i saw gambling in csgo i got addicted to that and starting betting around or. So with this big thing going on between leafy and H3 what are your opinions? content like talking about cringey people over CS:GO videos or some game. Share this video; facebook; Google+; Twitter Reddit; Tags; csgo, CS:GO, win, Lounge, trading, BET, gambling, Trade, Leafy, Leafyishere; Show tags; GAMBLING.